


Baking Blueberries

by Slysmoke



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Baking, F/M, Food, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 08:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16530608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slysmoke/pseuds/Slysmoke
Summary: Jane had always been the best at baking. But a troll suddenly shows up and involuntary threaten her title of 'baking queen'.





	Baking Blueberries

 

 

“And now, you add the flour slowly, just light rain into your preparation. It must not make big slabs ! Be careful !”

 

Religiously, you follow the teacher’s instructions.

Your name is Jane Egbert, and you’re the most talented baker of this class.   
It is said without any bragging.

 

Of course, it’s not just god’s gift, thought some could say your dad’s blood run in your veins.   
He is the best baker you know, despite working in a office, doing a job totally unrelated to the crafting of sweet deliciousness.

 

You dream of being as good as him.   
And to open a bakery, your very own.

 

Always supportive, your father accepted to pay you baking lessons, as long as they happen out of your class (You study economy, since you’ll need this knowledge to open and run a shop).

It’s not like he’s spoiling you - He’s paying your brother’s comedy club lessons, too.

 

John, your unhelpful brother who like pranks as much as you but hate cakes as much as you love them. (Making  _ and _ eating them, both, which give you way more round features than your brother.)

Thankfully his boyfriend is absolutely willing to be a testing subject to your baking. You just have to be faster than your dad to offer some cake to the guest.

 

The fact he’s a troll isn’t a problem, even the opposite. You perfectly intend to run a shop appreciated by humans  _ and _ trolls.

So his opinion is always appreciated, further since he never go halfway in his judging.

A perfect taster. He doesn’t even care that John threaten him to not kiss him after he ate cakes.

You’d just like him to be a little more watching of his words, but he’s working on it, at least in the Egbert house.

 

So, you were currently, peaceful but focused, working on a quite delicate recipe, when the door of the class open.   
It’s rare. Nobody entered or left during cooking, usually.

 

But you’re Jane Egbert, and even curiosity won’t make you fail your baking !

 

Despite the gnawing will to glance at whoever walked in, you keep focusing on your flour versing.   
You can vaguely hear someone (a man, you think) talking with the teacher, but they’re muttering, so you can’t understand what they say.

 

It’s only once you finished your task that you allow yourself to look at the intruder.

 

He’s a troll. that’s the first thing you notice. Not a pretty big surprise, there are already two other trolls in the class.

 

He’s a  _ tall _ troll, is the second thing you notice. He is nearly a head taller than the teacher.

After that, your brain note down the paint on his face, the way his hair scream “WE NEVER SAW A BRUSH IN OUR LIFE !”, and the terrible taste in clothes.

You know right away that this fellow and you won’t get along.

 

Baking is an art - it requires accuracy, dedication.   
You could bet your fake mustache this troll own none of these things. He’s all radiating laziness, daydreaming, looking like he could just curl and take a nap right here right now.

 

The teacher gives the following step, which is to put the dough in the mixing machine.   
At home you often mix by hand and arm strength, like your dad taught you, but here your time is limited and machines are faster, so you reluctantly use them.

 

“Alright everyone, this is Gamzee. He’s going to join our class as a test run starting now. Give him a warm welcome !”   
Most of the class vaguely greet him ; not that like the guy really care about the sincerity of the sentiment. He waves at the students, smiling.

 

“So, since we’re already half recipe…”   
Of course, you think with a frown, the guy arrived one hour after the beginning of the class.

“Okay, Jane ?”   
Hu oh.

 

The teacher walk to you with a big smile, bringing Gamzee along.   
The other students around chatters between them, taking a break while the dough is mixed. 

“Gamzee, this is Jane. One of our brightest students ! Jane, can you explain the recipe to Gamzee, and let him accompany you for the rest of the lesson ? That would be very nice of you.”

 

You beam a little in pride at the compliment. It’s pretty obvious to you she said ‘one of’ just to not sound too much complimenting, but you don’t mind.

“Of course miss. I’ll do my best.”   
This teacher is nice, and teached you a lot. You can do that for her.

 

“Hey sis. What’s motherfucking baking ?”

...Even if it’s going to be hard.

  
  


=====================================================

 

When you arrive home, you drop yourself on the couch heavily, with a groan.

John is here for once, and he’s kind enough to lower the sound of the TV and ask you what’s wrong.

 

“Usually you’re so happy when you come back from baking hell ! What’s happened ?”

There’s a little worry in his voice and you smile.

 

“It’s just… We got a new student and I had to take care of him. But he was so… URGH !”   
You throw your arms towards the ceiling in a violent attempt to calm yourself.

Looking deadly serious, John nods.   
“He was looking, I quote the witness, ‘ugh’. Alright miss, anything else you noticed about the culprit ?”

 

You can’t help the laugh that escape you. Your little bro is the best, no matter what Dirk says about having the best bro ever.

“Just… You know how important baking is for me.”   
He nods, genuinely this time, and roll his eyes with a grin.   
_ Yes _ , he knows.

“But this guy… It was like he didn’t care at all ! I was explaining things and he looked like he wasn’t listening, I showed him stuff and he looked somewhere else, and all his questions were totally random !!!”

 

Just mentioning it again get you infuriated. It was like he spitted on your love for baking. 

“I can’t bear him. If the teacher ask me again to team up with him, I’ll refuse !”

 

Compassionate, John pat your head.   
“Here, here. If he’s that uninterested, he’ll leave the class after few lessons !”

 

With a heavy sigh, you let your head rest against his shoulder.   
“I hope so…”

  
  


====================================================================

 

_ BUT HE DOESN’T _ .

 

You have these lessons twice a weeks, so it’d been four lessons since the first encounter.

He didn’t leave.

 

The good point is, Miss Paint didn’t put Gamzee with you again. First, you were relieved. Who cared if there was an idiot, insulting baking, few steps away ?   
As long as you could cook peacefully, you didn’t mind.

 

Then Gamzee started to bake.

The first time, he made something so  _ far _ from what the teacher asked that you wondered if he even used the same ingredients as you.

Miss Paint gently explained to him he was supposed to follow the recipe, and you quickly ignored both the incident and the troll.

 

The second time, he apparently cared for the teacher’s advices, because what he did  _ looked _ like the thing requested.   
The same way a child’s drawing of a cat looked like a real cat.

Again, you just rolled your eyes and ignored it.

“Why is it important to look like the motherfucking model ?”

You had breathed calmly and forced yourself to not listen to this guy again, ever.

 

Third lesson.

The thing looked alright.   
Totally the wrong color, but right shape.   
In order to encourage him, the teacher tasted it…   
  


She’s always been a nice teacher, but you never saw her so enthusiast and excited about a baking.

Not even about yours.

Silenting in your head the babbling mostly formed of compliments and questions to Gamzee she was peeping, you caught your bag and stormed out.   
It has been the first time of your life you left the class early.

The fourth time…

It only got worse. Again, he made something  _ alright _ , but with weird adjustments. You were even sure it didn't taste like it was supposed to. You could see from here how the texture wasn’t good.

 

He offered some to the other students, and they all got into exclamations and cheering, gasps of surprise and eager questions.

 

Teeth clenched, you grabbed your bag, determined to go back home, with the feeling your personal heaven became hell.

 

You were nearly out of the building when something grabbed your arms.

Not in the mood for chitchat, you spinned around angrily, to glare at the person who dare to stop you.

And now that you checked, put flour on your clothes.

 

It was  _ him _ , smiling as usual, the sort of lazy smile you hated.

“Hey sis… I saw you didn’t had a bite, so I brought you some.”

He reached to you, a slice of his  _ baking _ in hand.

 

Your nerves snapped.

“Listen me well, you  _ savage _ . What you’re doing isn’t baking. This too random, disorganized ! Baking need accuracy, focus, perfect timing ! You’re a shame to this class, and if they’re all too stupid to notice it,  _ I _ did !!”   
While you were talking, his smile had disappeared progressively, until he wasn’t even looking at you, but the floor instead.

 

Then you furiously turned around, and walked back out the building, and home.

It felt good for approximately five minutes, to have been able to get it all out of your chest.

But after that, you remembered the face he made, and the fact he run after you to offer you cakes.

Starting this point, you felt awful.

 

=======================================================

 

The day after was saturday, and you weren’t like Dirk - even if you felt guilty, self-loathing wasn’t a hobby of yours.

 

So instead, you baked.

You just put cookies into the oven when the doorbell rang.

A blue storm passed in front of the opened door of the kitchen to answer it, and you guessed the visitor was Karkat. God, how many times did you tell John to warn you ?

 

And sure enough, angry ranting floured into the house as soon as your brother’s boyfriend entered.

You joined them in the living-room.

 

“Hello, Karkat.”

You greet him cheerfully.

 

“Hi, Jane. Hey, is there any asshole in your cooking class ?”

The question make you blink, and you look at him curiously.

“No, no they’re rather nice…”

Your brain provide the picture of Gamzee, but you dismiss it. The guy was infuriating, but not an ‘asshole’.

“Why ?”

 

Both you and John see at his face that he’s going to start an endless ranting again, so your brother smooch him quickly, stopping him right away.

Then he answers you, while Karkat sputters and blush.

 

“Karkat’s friend…”   
“Moirail.”   
John rolled his eyes. The magic of the silencing kiss didn’t work for long.   
“Karkat’s  _ moirail _ is like, all about baking, and so I suggested Karkat, who suggested him, to join your class, so he could learn more and have fun ?”

 

A cold, very cold sweat was starting to form in your back.

The troll talk next.

“And then a asshole not only refused his cake, but insulted him ! Giving him shit like he wasn’t a true baker, and all this bullshit !!!”

He was furious, eyes throwing daggers.

 

_ Oh no. _   
You close your eyes, breathing in and out peacefully, then open them.   
“John.”

“Yeah ?”

 

You’re calmly, threateningly looking at him now, and he shrink a little.   
“Why didn’t you tell me that Karkat’s moirail was joining my class ?”

He gulps.   
“Becauuuuuse… I forgot ?”

 

Karkat is giving him the ‘ _ Dude, really ? _ ’ stare, and you, you pinch the bone of your nose.

“Okay but whatever, it’s done now, what I really want to know is who dared to hurt my moirail ! Jane, do you have the slightest idea of who’s this fucker ?”

 

You don’t even scold him for his language as you sigh.   
“Yes.”

“Then who-”

 

“It’s me. I’m the… ‘asshole’.”

The two boys look at you with gaping mouth.

 

You, you bite your lips, ashamed.   
“I just… I’m really sorry ! I didn’t mean to snap at him. Even if he wasn’t your moirail, Karkat. We didn’t get along… But I have no excuse for being so harsh with him.”

It’s probably obvious enough how bad you feel, because Karkat calm down and don’t yell at you.

 

“Okay Jane, I know you for a while so, I know you’re a good person. I can get that Gamzee is infuriating sometimes, but, fuck ! You never snapped at  _ me _ , how come you snapped at him ?”

 

You groan, hands messing with your hair in a frustrated way.

“I don’t know, he’s just ! It looks like he has no respect for baking, all his appearances and attitude is careless ! He does nonsense, and everythone was fussing over him like he did something great ?!”

Panting, you realise you must have nearly yelled the last words, because the guys in front of you are looking at you with big eyes.

“So you’re… Jealous ?”

Karkat’s voice is prudent, his red eyes studying your face.

 

“No !!”   
But your father teached you to not lie, so you deflate.   
“I mean, yes, a little. But I was annoyed at him  _ before _ he started to get all the attention ! It’s not just that !”   
You insist, desperate for them to believe you.

 

Gently, the troll pat your knee and you relax a little.

“Don’t worry, I know. He can be very annoying without wanting to. But he’s very soft hearted ? And he was very sad, because he looked up to you a lot.”

 

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you stutter.   
“M-me ? Looking up ?”

 

Karkat chuckles, his face taking a soft expression that is pretty rare on him - and so very much appreciated, if the look of pure adoration on John is anything to go by.

“I shared some of your cookies with him here and there, and he always loved them. I offered him few times to take baking classes, but he always refused with stupid excuses - until I mentioned  _ you _ were in this class. Here he accepted to try. I’m pretty sure he hoped to meet you, more than anything else.”

 

Your face is in your hands, flush with embarrassment.

“Thank you Karkat, now I feel like the worse asshole ever.”

 

He snickers at that.

“But why didn’t he tell me ? We got team up the first lesson ! He could have told me something !”

You don’t understand.

 

It’s Karkat’s turn to sigh.   
“Either he thought it wasn’t important, or that you knew already. Fuck if I know what happen in his head most of the time.”

 

He’s looking at you, but you don’t meet his gaze.   
“... You know, I could just bring him here so you could apology, if you feel so guilty.”

Karkat offers, hopeful.   
“It would be great really, I know he won’t tell much about it but he’s really affected. Well, at least your wish is granted, he won’t show up in class again.”

 

You shrink, thinking of how disappointed the class is going to be, of everything Karkat said.

“You think he’ll accept to talk to me ? After what I said ?”

Worried, you finally look at him.

 

The troll chuckles and shakes his head.   
“This is one of the good things with Gamzee. He forgives really fast.”

You nod, suddenly determined.

“Alright. Please, I… I’d like to talk to him.”

 

“It’ll be okay, Jane ! You’ll do great !”

You laugh awkwardly at your brother’s encouragement.

“Thank you John. I hope.”

 

==================================================

 

From what you understand, Karkat somehow has to trick Gamzee into coming here.

“If I just tell him the truth, he’ll bail out and find some shitty excuses to don’t come !”

Or so he said.

 

You still find that pushing him into the kitchen with you and closing the door behind him with a “IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD !” yelled through the wood  _ isn’t _ a good idea.

 

Nervosity crawled in you since the moment the doorbell rang, and now you’re nearly shaking from it.

Gamzee is few feet away, and he looks  _ everywhere _ but at you, his trademark smile absent.

 

“I-I made cookies, if you want..?”

Wow, nice try Jane. Not pathetic at all.

The troll quickly glance at you, stare a second at the cookies on their plates on the table, then shrink a little, looking away again.   
He looks like he would happily melt with the door.

 

You breath deep, and he  _ flinches _ . Oh god.

Come on Jane, you’re a big girl. You can do better than that.

 

“Please, listen. I am, truly, deeply sorry about what I said. It was very unfair, and mean, and you didn’t deserve that.”

Better.

He’s staring at you now, but in a wary, untrusting way.

 

Your shoulders slump, and you sigh.   
“I’m sorry Gamzee. I was bitter, and jealous, too. You were nice to me, and I treated you awfully. I didn’t know you were Karkat’s friend - and anyway ! It doesn’t matter because what I did was… Pretty shitty.”

 

Hesitant, you take few steps towards him. Enough that you’re at arm reach, now.

“I only wish to apology, and make it up to you. If you’re nice enough to let me. I’d understand if yoURGHFF ?!”

 

Your heartbreaking apologies got cut mid sentence by a deep, tight hug.   
Gamzee is hugging you.

When you could bet your hand that just a second before he seemed about to claw at the door so someone could let him leave.

 

“Ga-Gamzee ! I’m- Breath ! Hhff !”

Your valiant attempt to convey your need for oxygen is well received by the troll, who release you and put you gently back feet on the floor.

 

“Sorry sis ! I just was so motherfucking happy, I thought you hated me !”

He’s beaming, happy like a child that just found back is favourite toys, lost for months, and you don’t have the heart to tell him that, yes, you sorta hated him, before.

“Didn’t know what to do. I got you all angry and hurt, sure I messed up somewhere but I’m not good with people. Only Karbro really deal with me !”

He laughs, thought his words are sad.

 

He just admitted he had no friend at all.

“Wasn’t good to get such talented, wicked sis all mad, so I promised wouldn’t put a motherfucking feet there again. So, no more anger for you.”

Gamzee is smiling, looking at you with hope as if he wait for you to confirm he did good, or something.

 

He… He kind of give the vibe of some puppy, just wanting your attention and approval.   
It’s a little cute, you admit.

You shake your head.

“Gamzee, no.”

 

His smile shrivel, dropping a bit, and he takes a step backward.   
You can’t let him do that.

Gently, you take his hands in yours. It’s hard to miss the way he flinches at the contact, smile all disappeared by now and confused expression on.

 

You stare at him, sharp with intent.

“If everyone liked your baking, it means you have talent. You  _ have _ to develop it ! Further if you like baking ! You can drop it just because I have some misplaced pride, okay ?”

 

He looks at your joined hands, pressing back just a little.   
“But sis, you don’t like me there. Don’t want to get you all angry again when we just patched things up, you know.”

And finally he’s gazing back, with such a sad face, oh god. If he had ears, they’d be all flat on his head.   
Your heart twist painfully. How could you be so mean to him ?

 

“No Gamzee, that’s not it. I was just arrogant, and selfish. And I didn’t understand you. I still don’t… But it’s not a reason for you to leave.

 

He’s looking away again, and you know you didn’t convince him.

“Gamzee… If you don’t come back, I will feel like the worst person of the world.”

You say softly, looking at him with earnest pleading eyes.

 

Your words must reach him, because this time his eyes meet yours.

“And then we can bake together, so I can see how you do it ?”

 

At the “bake together”, Gamzee’s eyes widen and nearly  _ sparkle _ , his hands clenching back on you in his enthusiasm.

“Really sis ? You’d bake with me ?”

And oh, he sounds so hopeful, it make you blush a little.

 

“Y-yes. Yes, we  _ will _ bake together. If you come back.”

Blackmail ? Noooo, just a little deal.

 

He nods quickly, chuckling happily.   
Of course, one second later you’re again inches from the ground, into his arms and squeezed like lemon.

He’s making a panel of little aliens sounds, and - okay you guest his face somehow in your chest right now, but he just look content to hug you, nothing perverted about it.

 

God forgive you, but you let him.

 

====================================================

 

After that, Gamzee had put you back and rushed out of the kitchen, hugged Karkat the same way he did with you (worse, even, because he is smaller than you), then fell with him on the couch under John’s laugh.

 

You brought the cookies with you and everyone (except John) ate them.   
The smile full of stupid awe Gamzee had while eating them is stuck in your mind, you think.

 

Anyway, this is the past.

Right now, you’re back in baking class, and mumbling angrily as you shoot daggers at your watch. He promised you he’d be here ! Where is this damn clown ?

 

Finally, he enters, like he isn’t ten minutes late.   
You nearly shake him.

“Gamzee, where were you ?”

Arms crossed, you even forgot politeness in your will to scold him.

 

He shrinks immediately, smile lost.   
Damn.

“Urgh, sorry, I just really dislike being late. Good evening, Gamzee.”

 

“Good evening…”

He mutters, confusion on his face.

 

“We bake together today, remember ?”

His face lightens and he doesn’t jump to hug you, but you suspect it is only thanks to Karkat repeating him to not to give hug in public.

 

“Sure, sis !”

He’s fast to get into baking, but today you mostly want to observe him.   
You only do little tasks, but he doesn’t seem to mind, humming to himself while working.

Sometimes, you notice him jolting and glancing quickly at the board where the recipe is noted, but mostly he doesn’t, rather following some silent directions whispered to him by whatever spirit passed by.

 

No surprise his result doesn’t look like it should.

All his actions seemed pretty random to you. How could it even be good ? You literally saw him pouring liquid without measuring ! Twice !

 

So this time when he offers you to taste it, you accept without hesitation.

He’s looking at you with big, hopeful eyes, and suddenly your solid opinion that this is going to taste bad is replaced by the wish it is good, so you can say such to him.

 

Anyway, you take a bite of the think he baked.

And it’s…

_ Delicious _ .

 

It’s only vaguely how it’s supposed to be,  but it doesn’t matter because it’s heaven on the tongue.   
The rational part of your mind pick up few things that could be improved, but mostly, it’s a royal treat.

And furthermore, one you never tasted.

 

You understand now.

He’s not like you. You’re professional, about the baking. He’s not  _ better _ than you. He’s messy, his technics aren’t the best.

But he’s a  _ creator. _

 

The type of person that can invent whole new recipes.

You’ve finished the slice before realising, and the troll is still looking at you, thought more worried, now.

You smile at him.   
“It’s delicious, Gamzee.”

 

He grin so wide you wonder if his cheeks teared up or something, and you can see him vibrating with the need to hug you.

 

You shake your head with a smile, and for once isn’t bothered by the other students gathering around Gamzee.

You two wash your tools, then take your bags and leave together, Gamzee’s smile being contagious.

It occurs you that you don’t know where he lives.

 

But you’re pulled out of your thought by a shy tug on your sleeve.

It’s your new troll friend, of course, and he’s suddenly looking shy and hesitant.

You’re in the street, just lightened by the streetlamps around.

“Yes ?”

 

You ask, since he doesn’t say anything.   
“...”   
He muttered something, but hell if you can tell what.

“What did you say, Gamzee ?”

“...-t really good ?”

His voice is just a little louder, and he’s not looking at you.

Oh. Does he think you lied ?    
You frown.

 

“If I said it was delicious, then it was.”   
You assure firmly, and he smiles in a relieved way.

“So… Am I a true baker ?”

It’s against unsure, and it’s like a punch right in your heart.

_ Ouch _ .

 

You take a step towards him, determination a fire in your eyes. He blinks at you when you grab him by the collar of his hoodie, so you’re looking at each other.

“I’m a baker. I follow recipes, I make wonderful cakes, I have skills from years of training.”

He doesn’t follow, you can see it.   
“But what you do, it’s more than that. You may not have the same skills as me, but you have  _ talent _ , Gamzee. You’re a  _ creator _ . If I make cakes, you  _ give birth _ to them, okay ? There’s only one baker like you for ten like me. Maybe even less.”

 

He’s shocked, mouth agape, staring at you and blinking like an owl.

“I’m a baker, but you’re a  _ magician _ .”

 

From so close, you can witness the way his breath stops, his eyes watering ever so slightly.

He’s deeply touched by what you said, even more that it comes from  _ you _ .

 

The second after, he’s kissing you.

 

Honestly, you have barely the time to process what’s happening that he jumped feet away from you, horror replacing every good emotions on his face.

 

He doesn’t even say a word, and run away as if you were the devil in flesh.

You spent a time you couldn’t determine looking towards where he disappeared, in shock.

 

================================================================

 

Of course, he doesn’t dare showing his face at the next classes. Or giving you an explanation.

Gamzee could be dead for the world that it would give the exact same result.

 

You, in return, are in a pretty sour mood.

After thinking about it, turning it in every way possible, you came with the conclusion he kissed you from an impulse and regret it deeply.

 

Fine. Whatever. Who care it’s your first kiss, who care you can’t erase his shocked (disgusted ?) from your brain ?

Who care he’s so ashamed of kissing you that he’s avoiding you ?

 

You cried a little, once, then decided you were stronger than that, and that you should just forget about the troll.

His talent is very hard to forget, sadly. It keeps nudging your mind here and there when you bake.

 

It’s only three weeks after the incident, when you could swear you’re over it, that it come blowing under your nose again.

 

You made brownies, and bring them to John and Karkat in the living-room. It’s movie night, and your father let you three the houses - he’s having some not-so-secret meeting between gentlemans, as you gathered.

 

“And you don’t know why ?” It’s John.

“No !! This idiot refuse to tell me ! He’s telling me it’s okay, but I know it’s not. Why would he have stopped the baking lessons, if it wasn’t a big deal ?”

 

You freeze with your plate in hands, your brain processing what is the topic of the conversation.

“But no. Mister Makara don’t spit a word. No matter how crazy it drives me, he refuse to talk.”

Karkat is ball of nerves and worry on your couch, and John is trying to comfort him.

 

You can’t help the bitter words that escape your mouth.

“Oh, so he’s so  _ ashamed _ of what he did that he doesn’t even tell his moirail about it, hu.”

You feel so awful. Were you such a dirty secret ? Was it so shameful if anyone know he kissed you ?

 

“Wait, you know what happened ?!”

Damn. 

You glance at Karkat, resentful.

 

“Doesn’t matter.”

You mutter finally, feeling like crying.

 

“Jane, did Gamzee do something to you ?”

“What ?! My moirail wouldn’t hurt a fly, dipshit !”

 

At John’s question, your eyes widen and you look away, frowning and nibbling your lips.

When you dare looking at them again, color had drained from the troll’s face, who look at you in disbelief.

“He… He did ? Gamzee wouldn’t… He adores you, he would never…”

 

He’s stuttering, showing such distress that you can’t let him keeping going.

“No, no Karkat he didn’t hurt me, okay ? It was just… An accident ?”

Not the right word, but you tried.

 

Karkat’s face turn nearly white and you swear at yourself.

Alright, only the truth will help you right now.

“Karkat for god’s sake, he just kissed me. Not even a true one, just a quick peck !”

Thanks god, you said it.

“Then he run away.”

You add, a little depressed.

 

You hear a slapping sound and look up to witness Karkat who apparently facepalmed.   
John is grinning like the doof he is, but wisely didn’t comment.

“Gaaaamzeeeee…”

The troll groan in an exasperated way, and you smile a little despite yourself.

 

“It’s fine. I’m over it. He was just brought by the mood or something, I know he didn’t intend to do it. He was so shocked, it was easy to tell. A bit offending to be showed so clearly that I’m not attractive, but I got worse…”

 

“Wow wow calm your ti-hoovesbeasts. Now what ?!”

You frown, crossing your arms in a defensive way.

“I won’t repeat that.”

“Come on Jane, that’s bullshit ! Dave always babbles about how hot you are !”

You blush and glare at John.

 

“Easy to say when he’s in  _ Texas _ , hours away. I’m sure he doesn’t think it.”

The look on John face express exactly ‘I have proves he does and I wish I hadn’t them’.

 

Karkat is staring at you, and you finally look back, thought reluctantly.

“You  _ think _ he run away because he was ashamed he kissed you. Because you  _ think _ , he kissed you then five seconds after, fucking came back to his senses like, ‘oh no ! I thought I was making out with a baking goddess and actually she’s ugly, how could I have been so blind ?’ ? Seriously ?”

 

The incredulity in his voice is pretty offending, and you lift your chin, definitely.

“And ? It isn’t that ? He didn’t even tell  _ you _ ! If it isn’t because he’s shameful and regretting, then why would it hide it from you ? How would you even know ?”

 

“Oh by the chitters of the mother grub, someone help me. Jane, he’s absolutely  _ smitten _ with you ! He spent  _ hours _ bubbling about you, about how amazing you are, about how he couldn’t wait to bake with you ! He spent so much time fucking hesitating over his clothes, begging me to brush his hair so it wasn’t looking like a caterpillar's nest, like it was a fucking damn  _ date _ , that he got late and I had to kick his ass so he’d leave the hive and arrive in time to the baking class !!!”

 

John release a discreet ‘wow’. 

You’re red, perfectly knowing that you’re cheeks are violently flushed, feeling the warmth of your blush.   
You didn’t notice.   
You didn’t even ask him why he was late. You didn’t even notice how he looked, focused of his lateness and your future baking-together.

 

Why are you only awful these days ?

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you croak :

“Then why did he… Why did he run ? And never reached to me ?”

 

Your heart was beating so fast, you weren’t able to get your calm back.

Karkat rolled his eyes, groaning.

“This idiot always think he’s going to fuck up. He got you mad without doing anything once, so what do you think crossed his mind when he realised he kissed the girl he was flushed for ? Without even warning her ? A girl he so easily annoyed when first meeting her, and without even knowing what he did wrong exactly ? Hm ?”

 

You totally misinterpreted the situation.

“Oh no… He thought I would hate him...”

You hide your face in your hands, and feel John’s leaving the couch to sit at your side, circling your shoulder with one arm.

 

“Hey, you couldn’t know. He should have tried to talk to you.”

He mutters, comforting.

“Yes, he should. But he’s an idiot.”

Are moirails supposed to call each others idiots ? You don’t know, but apparently Karkat does it.

 

“What should I do ?”

You look at them both, lost.

This time, the troll shrug.

“Depends of what you want. I mean, now the purrbeast is out of the metaphorical box, it’ll be hard to ask him to come back to the classes. He may not have confessed to you, that doesn’t change the facts.”

 

_ Confessed _ , wow. You're going to have vapors.

 

“I'd at least like to clear the misunderstanding. I don't want him to think I hate him… Again.”

The boys snicker.

 

“You always had a fierce temper. A true amazon !”

John giggles.

 

“I think I should talk to him.”

You say firmly, determined. Despite Karkat’s words of reassurance, you wish to confront Gamzee about it. You want to hear what he has to say.

 

“Sure no problem.”

Karkat give you a key with a crab keychain.

“We live in the same apartment. Do you have the address ?”

 

_ Oh. _ Right, John gave you Karkat’s address just in case - it's in your phone. You check just in case, and show it to the troll who nods in approval.

 

You jump on your feet, startling them.

“Alright ! I'm going to do it !”

 

“Wait, right now ? Don't you-”

You'll never know what he intended to say, because John suddenly grabbed his arm to waggle his eyebrows at him in the less discreet display you ever witnessed.

Your brother and subtlety really lived in different dimensions.

 

“Oh. Yeah okay sure, he won't move from his resp- his bedroom, anyway.”

God, you really don't need these pictures of your  _ brother _ and his boyfriend right now.

 

Not losing a second, you catch your bag and your jacket, then wince at two idiots who try to make an innocent face at you.

 

“Take your time !”

Throw John with a grin, before yelping when Karkat smack the back of his head.

 

You chuckle a little to yourself as you leave.

Karkat’s apartment isn't very far from your house, something around ten minutes.

 

It's autumn, and the wind is a little cold, but that doesn't lessen your determination. You benefit the walk to think about what you're going to say, but mostly your mind just run in circle and throw unhelpful catastrophe scenario at you.

 

Finally you arrive at the building. The travel in the elevator seems to last forever and the blink of an eye at the same time, and you're in front of the door before realising.

 

Your first impulse is to ring, but you don't want Gamzee to open the door than slamming it to your face. So instead, you use the key, entering the place and closing behind you.

For a second, you grown at yourself. Did you really go alone to visit a boy ? You two alone in an apartment ?

 

But Karkat said it was safe, so you at least believe him. Plus, you're not that weak ! You can always surprise punch him and leave.

 

The living room in front of you is messy, as expected. Karkat isn't the guy to be all about tidying. Gamzee neither, probably.

 

You walk into the hall, and a voice freeze you.

“Karbro ? Already back from your movie night ?”

 

It's Gamzee. Without answering, you push the door from where it comes from, having just the time to see the troll on his bed  _ only in boxer _ before he look in your direction and spot you.

 

His eyes widen and his jaw drop in shock, then he’s making a weak noise followed by a string of words (mostly curses) and glance around in panic, eventually setting for picking a pillow and puting it on his laps, hugging it. It makes a poor job at hiding him, but it's better than nothing, you guess.

 

“J-jane… Why you… Motherfucking…”

He stutters, and he must be very surprised if he called you by your name.

 

“...Hi.”

You sit at the edge of the bed, facing him.

Gamzee seems lost, and you're even sure you saw him pinching himself, as if he thinks you're a dream.

 

However, he doesn't say anything, so you guess you'll have to start the conversation.

“I didn't see you in class.”   
Your voice is a mutter, but in the silence of the room you could as well have yelled.

 

He hugs the pillow harder, looking away from you, finally.

“Thought it'd be motherfucking better.”

 

“Why ?”

You encourage him to develop.

“Did something stupid. I… I fucked up.”

It’s like he's closing himself to the conversation more and more.

 

Honestly, you think he’s begging for thunder to strike him, or anything that would allow him to not have this conversation. But you’re Jane Egbert, and you’re determined.

You won’t run away from this, even if you’re sweating with nervosity right now.

 

Rather than being subtle and risking another misunderstanding, you decide to just give him the truth.

“I thought...that you kissed me without thinking, and then regretted it because you suddenly remember I wasn't pretty, or someone you'd consider going out with… So you fled to not see me again.”

Here, you did it. You release the breath you didn’t notice you were holding, and face his reaction.

 

He’s staring in pure  disbelief, a bit of confusion and shock also showing on his face.

“What ?!”

The word is finally spit out, his face frowning and un-frowning, like he’s crossed by a storm of emotion and can’t stick to only one.

 

“No ! That's not that at all !! Wait, how could I think you're  _ not _ pretty ?!”

He's agitated now, totally incredulous.

You, you blush, of course. Before you can answer that, he keep going, luckily for you.

 

“I was afraid you'd hate me again, is all ! It. It hurt so much last time, I didn't want to see you like this again, all anger and thunder in these miraculous eyes of yours…”

Gamzee ends his sentence nearly in his pillow, and you swallow the lump in your throat.

 

You were thinking of what to say next, but to your surprise, he talked again, eyes desperately focused on yours.

You never saw him so focused before.

 

“All I wanted… I just wanted to spend time with you, at first. Karbro talked often about this wicked pastry sister, sibling of his matesprit. He brought things you baked… And it was miracles in the mouth !”

He was looking in the void, an expression of ecstasy on his for once paintless face.

 

“I wanted to meet you so bad. But I couldn’t, you know ? Just show up like that. Then karbro talked about this class you were in, and I thought it couldn’t hurt ? But I wasn’t expecting…”

 

He seems in a loss for words so you try to help.   
“That I would be so rude ?”

 

The troll frown, looking at you.   
“No. So… Beautiful. Talented. You shined even brighter than I ever dared to imagine…”

He’s muffling himself in the pillow again, while your face attempt the whole shifting into a tomato.

 

“I’m not… This isn’t…”   
You stammer, not able to catch back your train of thoughts.

 

“And… And then I fucked up everything. I’m so motherfucking stupid, we barely got friendly with each other and then I just kissed you. I’m so sorry… You complimented me, and you were so close and there was fireworks and galaxies in your eyes and I just…”

 

He press his face in his pillow and make a sort of groaning scream.

You’re sure your heart is going to jump out of your chest at this pace.

 

You put a hand on your face, the other reached to him in a ‘stop’ motion.

“Gamzee, please.”

 

The answer comes muffled to you.   
“...Sorry…”

 

You don’t know what to say, your heart is beating so fast you feel like you hear it right in your ears.

 

Slowly, he rises his head from the fabric, looking at you.

“...You don’t like hearing this, I get it. Sorry, Karbro always say I should think before talking, because I say stupid shit all the time and-”

 

“Gamzee.”

It cut his rambling, mouth snapping shut with a sound.

“Sorry.” He mumbles in the pillow, and your heart twist painfully. 

You don’t like seeing him like this.

 

It’s hard to believe that few weeks ago, you were so mad at this guy.   
Right now you just want to hug him.

 

“Don’t be. Just, do you… Er, do you like me ? Ro-romantic, ally, like…”   
You don’t succeed pronouncing even one other word.

 

Not answering, he whines in the pillow again.

“Gamzee ?”   
You insist. You need to know, to hear him saying it - or denying it, that doesn’t matter, you need to know the truth.

It’s not that you think Karkat lied to you, but you just-

 

Oh well, who are you trying to fool ? You’re dying to receive a confession. It’s the real reason, and deep inside you know it.   
And Gamzee is… Yes, you would be very happy if he liked you.

 

Did you like him from the start ?   
You couldn’t tell. But he’s talented, and you’re sure that, unlike he said, he  _ isn’t _ stupid.

 

It’s his turn to take a deep breath, gathering courage.   
Your heart is beating painfully.   
This is it, he’s going to deny it, right ? He just admires you, maybe, if you’re lucky. But there’s no way he’s in love with you. He barely know you, and you yelled at him, you were awful and-

 

His gaze is suddenly pinning you and your breath and thoughts all come to a stop.

“Can’t even find words big enough to say how I motherfucking like you. It’s like a star jumped out from the space ceiling and just, damn, landed here and I’m so fucking lucky I could be touched by its light, and I would never think I can get more than being next to you, and that’d be fine…”

 

Alright, now you’re sure you’re going to combust.   
“But, yes, I’m motherfucking getting this red flame all in my pusher, burning when I think of you, a motherfucker could just do anything to get you to like… Me…”   
He started passionated, but the last words are said in a lowered voice.

 

“You’d deserve the best, fucking most pretty and nice courting, but I just kissed you like the idiot, rude motherfucker I am…”

It sounds like he’s been beating himself pretty hard about it.

 

Somehow, you succeeded getting back to breathing.

“It’s okay. We all do stupid things sometimes ! Look at me, I was awful with you, and without reasons. It was just a kiss. My first, but that’s not, actually forget I said that, I’m just losing the point I wanted to make…”

 

You regret saying it almost immediately.

And sure enough, the meaning of your words hit him. His eyes widen, and it’s an interesting fight between delight and horror that happen on his face.

“First…”

He mutters in awe, purple flush invading his cheeks as happiness win the fight in his emotions.

 

You rub at your cheeks to try to chase the blush on them.

“Yes, but like I said, it’s fine.”

 

“You’re not mad ?”

He asks with a little voice, hopeful.

You can’t prevent yourself from smiling at the troll.

“No, not at all. I never… Nobody ever confessed their love to me before, so I’m, I’m not sure what to say.”

 

He’s smiling back, and the lazy smile you hated so much first now looks full of fondness. For you.

It’s ridiculous how it affects you, making you feel all giddy and happy.

“Nothing, my shiniest star, you have nothing to say. It’s all good, I assure you. Feel great to get it out of my chest.”

 

His smile gets brighter, and he giggles a little.

You didn’t answer him, but he stills look like he’s radiating happiness.   
A messy, but happy troll.

 

There’s… A need in you, you can tell, but you don’t know what to do about it.

“You really think I’m pretty ?”

Oh god, could you more pathetic and begging for compliment ? You don’t think so.   
You blush again, but this time at how pathetic you are.

 

Gamzee however, doesn’t seem bothered by your question.   
Releasing a dreamy sigh, he answer you without hesitation.   
“Like a motherfucking goddess, and that’s pretty much heretic of me to say.”

 

The bubbles in you fuzzle harder, and you wish you had a plan about what to do, what to say.

Some guardian angel must have heard you, because you come up with an idea.

“You know what ? You’re right about the baking lesson. You shouldn’t go there, it’s not for you.”

There’s excitation in your voice, but the troll frown, smile dropping a little.

 

“No, wait, it doesn’t sound right. I mean like, they obviously teach classic baking there, and your practice is different. Amazing, but different ! You need something else.”

He’s watching with confusion, but at least not sad anymore.

 

“I think we could maybe… Bake together ? Have our own baking class ? I know the techniques, I can teach you. And you’ll be free to be as creative as you want. And I’ll be learning from you, too !”

Your enthusiasm is obvious, excited by the idea.

 

But you calm yourself a little to study his reaction.

He’s blushing hard again, and you could swear you see sparkles in his eyes.

“You motherfucking want… To bake ? With me ?”

He’s obviously delighted by the idea, but curiously his face close, and he half hides it in his pillow.

 

“You don’t want that.”

“Why not ?”

Your protest is immediate, indigned.

If you offered, that means you want to.

 

“You don’t want… Me to be all over you and looking at you. You’re so pretty, but when you bake, it looks like the fucking Messiah themselves guid you, you’re…”   
He whines, desperate.

 

“I, I could never behave, being near you all this time. You don’t want that, you don’t want to be around me. I’ll be a bother. Look, I already kissed you ! Without asking !”

Gamzee sighs heavily.

“I’m so red for you, I’m surprised I’m not bleeding red by now…”

 

Uuuurgh, he’s impossible !

You never understood before why trolls used to use the word ‘pity’.

But right now, as your heart is like squeezed and twisted in your chest while you look at this troll who’s opening his own to you, maybe you understand a little.

 

You want to hug him and probably even kiss him, even if you know you’ll never have the courage to.

And that he’s still only in boxer, which would add to the embarrassment.

 

Alright Jane, my girl, you can do this.

“Actually, I was thinking we could benefits these baking lessons, to get to know each other better ?”

Silence.

You look up, and he’s totally frozen, staring intently at your face.

 

Eventually, he talks.   
“You… Jane, are you motherfucking suggesting… You don’t have to, you know ? I’m fine with this. I’m fine with staying away.”

“But  _ I _ ’m not !!”

Your loudness startle him, and he seems distressed for a moment.

 

“Jane.”

He’s pronouncing it like an holy word, like you’re some sacred thing.

“Do you think you could like me ?”

 

You nod.   
“I think, yes. I’m pretty sure I could. That’s why I want to spend time with you.”   
Your fingers fiddle together.

 

“Motherfucking miracles.”

He whisper, in awe. It seems like he want to hug you, also, but thanks god he contains himself.

You may have suffered from instant combustion, otherwise.

 

“So… That’s a yes ?”

He’s laughing loud and clear, incredulous.

“Of course it’s a yes ! How could I even refuse ? Spending time with you and baking, two of my favourite things !”

 

You smile at his enthusiasm, more shyly and reserved than his happiness.

But you’re happy too.   
Nerve wracked, but happy !

 

“Alright, now we cleared things I think I should go home.”   
You muster after a cough.

 

“Aw, sis…”   
Thankfully he just seems a little disappointed, not sad or anything.

Leaving your spot on the bed, you stand, and only take a step towards the door before facepalming.

 

“Oh no, I  _ can’t _ go right now !”

Gamzee makes an interrogative sound.   
“You okay ? Why not ?”

 

Turning back to face him, you offer him a tired face.   
“... My brother and Karkat are alone at home… And I don’t think they’re watching movies.”

 

It takes few seconds for him to process what you’re saying, then he bursts in laughter.

“Hehehe… Sorry sis, not sure you can’t motherfucking go home right away.”

 

He calms down a little, grinning at you.

“Why don’t you text John ? If fucker answer, mean they’re safe to meet.”

 

Ah.   
You open your bag and fish out your phone, trying to call your brother.   
It rings in the void, and you put it back, sighing.

 

When you turn to Gamzee again, he benefited your distraction to put a shirt and some pants on.   
“No answer ?”   
He asks, apologetic.

 

With a wince, you shake your head.

“Let me try.”

 

Without waiting for your answer or protest, he takes his own phone and call.

He’s more lucky than you.

“Karbro ?”

 

He grins at you.   
“Yeah, she’s right here. Wondering if you’re butt naked or if she can go back home safely ?”

Even from the distance you can hear the embarrassed yelling coming from the phone, but it just makes Gamzee laugh.

 

“Like you too, motherfucking best diamond. I’m bringing her back.”

He put down the phone.

 

“Alright sis, let me put some jacket and I’m accompanying you on the way back.”

 

“Uh ?”   
You blink owlishly at him.   
“Wait, you don’t have to. I’m a big girl, I can walk back on my own.”   
  


This time he’s frowning, showing clear disagreement for, you think, the first time.

“No way, my finest, prettiest sister. Don’t think I can just lie down and get my rest on while you’re wandering alone at night. Please ?”

 

He started with a decided tone, but the last word is sweet and begging.    
Again, you find yourself unable to say no.

  
  


===================================================================

 

Honestly, you found you were relieved he was here on the way back. You two chatted pleasantly, and despite the night fully settled you weren’t worried at all. Gamzee distracted you well enough.

 

You two reached your home, and he rang the doorbell.   
Only a short time after, the door open on an apologetic John and grumpy Karkat, who is immediately tackled into a hug by the tornado Gamzee.

 

It was late, and the two trolls decided to go home rather than staying.   
Apparently, some moirail talk was planed… You blushed a little when you realised you were probably going to be the main topic of the talk.

 

Gamzee hugged John, who laughed, then walked to you, only for hesitating a feet away from you.   
It was easy to understand that he wanted to hug you too, but wasn’t sure he was allowed to.   
In order to break the awkwardness (and not have the other two staring so intently) you opened your arms to the clown.

 

No need for more invitation apparently, he hugged you tight, your feet leaving the ground as you could feel a vibration coming from his chest.   
“Sweetest dreams to you, miraculous baking sister.”

He whispers, and you blush a little.

 

You’re definitely a little red when he put you down.

The two left, and the second you spotted the grin on John’s face you knew he was going to tease you.

 

_ The best defense is attacking _ .

Before he could open his mouth, you scolded him for letting you outside and not answering the phone.   
You did so well that he was babbling excuses as you left for your room, pride safe.

All in all, it had been a good night.

 

=====================================================================

 

After that night, you met up with gamzee an afternoon by weekend, to bake, and chat.   
You had been honest when saying you wanted to know him.

 

Quickly, you discovered how wrong you were about him not taking the baking seriously. He was loving it to bits, passionate by every details you would give him about your own baking knowledge. Unlike you, he visibly didn’t have much lessons about it, rather self teaching himself.

 

But he loved baking, you had no doubt about it. And wanted to learn.

However, he was awful at following the steps of a recipe.   
Just the same way you were awful at  _ not _ following them.

 

It required time for you to not react when he totally ignored a step to do his own things.   
And finally, you came with the balance of him telling you what he wanted to do, and you noting down somewhere the new recipe and adding more order and accuracy to his random thoughts.

 

At the end you made two notebooks, one for you and one for him, with a purple cover.   
He threw himself at you in a squeezing hug again, and kissed your cheeks several time. You could nearly see the little hearts around his head.

 

The thing was, Gamzee only get cuter and cuter the more you were spending time with him.   
You could have thought it was just that, finding him cute like a cat, or a baby.   
  


But you couldn’t deny how fast your heart was beating when he hugged you.

 

=============================================================

 

And now, you’re irremediably, highly, awfully  _ frustrated _ .

 

It’s been weeks and you’re pretty sure you like Gamzee.   
Honestly, it’s hard not to. He’s been nothing but adorable, talented, funny, pretty smart on the most random things.

Oh, and he’s totally fond of you. And you’re a sucker for it, alright ? Guilty as charged.

 

But the problem is, how to bring the subject back ?   
How to say him you want to… Date ?   
You never asked anyone out !

 

You chickened out before asking Jake, back you were younger and crushing on him.

And after you devoted yourself to baking and studying.

 

Gamzee is humming some happy tone that you think is a personal version of ‘happy birthday’, while making cupcakes.

You didn’t really followed what he did, or noted down anything - you’re too distracted.

 

“Something nibbling at your thinkpan, my glorious sister ?”

This is a thing you discovered, too. Gamzee can be surprisingly perceptive, despite giving the vibes to be totally head in the clouds.

 

You also know it is useless to deny it. He sensed your confusion.

So instead, you sit in front of him, staring at the cupcakes.

 

Maybe… Maybe you can make this work by the side way rather the front ?

Your gaze lift to meet his, and he tilt his head, a frown tarnishing his smile.

 

“Tell me… How do you, hm, ask someone out ?”

You’re glancing away the second you start your question, blushing and embarrassed.

But a weird sound resonate in the kitchen, and you immediately stare back at the troll.

 

The sound came from a cupcake being suddenly murdered by icing.

Apparently, Gamzee squeezed the piping bag that he poured half of his whole content on one of the cupcake.

You spent a little moment wondering  _ how _ and  _ why _ , until you lift your eyes more and watch his face.

 

_ Oh. _

 

He looks like you just stabbed him, eyes big and full of hurt and betrayal and like you just shooted at everything that is nice and good in his life in one fatal blow.

 

_ Of course _ . Of course he would think you  _ liked _ someone else than him.   
How were you stupid enough to think he’d realise you wanted to date  _ him _ ?

You facepalm yourself.

“Gamzee, god.”

 

He make a small noise and his hand are shaking on the bag as he look down, face the picture of wounded heart, starting a babbling of apologies and cut sentences.

“Gamzee, I’m talking about you !!”

 

The silence is suddenly louder than anything, only cut by your respiration - the troll seems to have stopped breathing.

You sigh heavily.

“I’m sorry, I just chickened out and tried to ask you out without really asking you, I didn’t think you would imagine I was crushing on someone else…”

 

He’s staring at you with widened eyes, and… Is he going to collapse ?   
“Gamzee, breath please.”

 

He does, loudly, and you wonder if he  _ really _ forgot to breath. Probably.

“Jane, what do you mean ? I’m motherfucking confused right now.”

 

His voice is soft, the same way of when he talks of his most precious and secret things.

Hope is filling him, you can tell.

And for once, you don’t intend to destroy it.

But he’s asking for clear words and you’re struggling to get them out.

 

Trying both to give you time and courage, you stand from your chair, walking to be next to him. You can’t manage to meet his gaze, however.

“What I mean is… Now I think I know you enough to say. That, hm. I think it’d be nice, if we were. More than friends ?”

Your tongue trips on the last two words, but you think you succeeded getting your point.

 

“Like… Best friends ?”   
Gamzee mutters in the same soft voice, and you wince.

You know he isn’t doing to annoy you - he just wants to be sure you actually want him, not able to believe that he’ll be lucky enough that you’d like him back.

 

“No. Not best friends. Dating.”

You get out in a breath, and you feel like your heart is hammering your ribcage.

 

And one second later you’re squealing because Gamzee just threw himself at you, hugging you tight - but not painful. He’s babbling again and emitting sounds, but it doesn’t make sense.

When your stress lower you hug him back, chuckling.

“Is that a yes ?”

 

You tease him, because his answer is obvious enough, but he takes it seriously.

He withdraw himself, and cup your face in his hands, face a curious mix of serious and enamored.

You now have your face covered with icing, but who care ?

 

“Yes. Thousand, thousand of thousand  _ yes _ .”

You giggle a little at that, poking his chest.   
“One was enough, you know.”

 

Gamzee look at you for few, silent seconds, and your heart agitate again.

Then he leans slowly, kissing you in a soft pressure.

 

You can feel how much he wanted to do that, how long he died for  _ just _ that.   
When he pulls apart his eyes are full of stars, purple blush visible through his paint.

 

“My fucking brightest miracle.”

He whisper dreamily, and you smile shyly at him in answer

 

All your worries and doubts were popping like bubbles, and when he scoops you in a soft hug, you know that you want  _ him _ , and that he’ll make you happy.

  
  



End file.
